OM148 - Killer Rabbit

Is this a moose? (OM148)

K: I was hiking in a canyon in Utah once and saw a Moose, which was huge. They are way bigger than you think!
J: They are not bigger than I think because I know how big they are.
K: Here is Jennings’ law: ”Even taking into account Jennings’ law, mooses are bigger than you think”
J: Mooses are big, but they are not bigger than I think.
K: No! They are, actually.
J: No, no, no, they are not! I know how big a moose is.
K: Okay, how big is a moose?
J: Big!
K: No! It is a little bigger, it is a tiny bit bigger!
J: Awwwh, dag! A Utah moose is not even a big moose!
K: Do you feel like an Alaska moose would just kick the crap out of a Utah moose?
J: I do! I do!
K: … with its bigger, more masculine, more caffeinated antlers?
J: I was walking down what we call The Biketrail in Anchorage, although there are many bike trails in Anchorage.
K: Is there one bike in Anchorage that you call The Bike?
J: It was the Campbell Creek bike trail and I was with a lady friend and we were walking along a stretch of The Biketrail that used to go between my mom’s house and my dad’s house. She said: ”You know, the one thing I would like to see while I am visiting Alaska is a moose!” and before I could launch into my John Roderick expanation of how unusual it would be to see a moose in the summer in this location, she pointed over my shoulder and said: ”Is that a moose?” and I turned around and it was a moose.
K: I love this meme, where the kids said: ”Is this a… moose?”
J: And it was a cow moose and she was in a swamp
K: Do the cows have antlers?
J: No, she did not have antlers and they don’t have antlers. When I saw it was a lady moose I always worry about baby moose because the only time they really charge you or get crouchy seems to be when they have a baby there, so I hustled us out of there, but that line ”Is that a moose?” because a meme within my local culture.
K: Is it a meme if it is just you and your girlfriend?
J: ”I wish that I could see a moose! Is that a moose?”
K: Is it possible that she has the power to summon moose?
J: I wondered that exact thing!
K: And?
J: Since then I have not seen her conjure a moose. I’m not with her all the time, she could be in the company of meece right this very second, but I have never seen it.

Unusual animal encounters (OM148)

John had a lot of unusual animal encounters, but nothing where the animal was really behaving out of character. One time he was walking along a trail and saw a big porcupine coming toward him, moving very slowly in a waddling gait. Seeing a porcupine on the trail was a little unusual, but the animal kept coming and was at no point prepared to yield the trail, which is not good trail etiquette. As it got closer, John was having to yield the trail and he climbed down into the ditch and stood a respectful distance away while the porcupine continued on his path without even a turn to the side.

In April of 2019, Ken was hiking in Wildwood Canyon above Burbank and a guy from Connecticut was lost and asked Ken which trail to walk down to the parking. That was not an animal, just a guy from Connecticut, but Ken still pointed him to one of the paths and as he turned to take Ken’s advice, he reared up like a horse because there was a pretty big Gopher Snake or Garter Snake in the path. Ken was like ”Oh, wow!” and went over to look at this thing, but they guy was like ”Watch out, watch out!”, but the snake had already started to go up the rockery. It didn’t appear to be poisonous because the only poisonous snakes in California are rattlesnakes and this one was clearly rattle-free. Also, it had passed. When people get bitten by a snake they were either dumb and grabbed the snake or they didn’t see it and stepped on the snake.

There once was a possum messing around John’s house all the time and he couldn’t get rid of it. His neighbour’s cat used to hang out at John’s house, too. One night John was staring out the window and saw the possum while the cat was hiding in the bush. John thought that the possum was going to get it from this cat, but the cat came out of the bushes, the possum continued along and the two of them met in the grass and touched noses. Then the possum just ambled off and the cat went its own way. John was infuriated! If the possum hadn’t been such a bugbear around John’s property it would have been a real magical moment in the fairy moonlight. John did have a little bit of an anti-possum attitude and he expected the cat to fulfil a purpose, in this case possum eradication or at least possum wrangling, but he didn’t understand that possums and cats showed professional courtesy to one another like attorneys.

Ken’s first news event (OM148)

The first news event that Ken always uses as his benchmark for the first thing he remembers in the world is the Sonics beating the Bullets in the 1979 NBA championship.

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